


Take a sad song and make it better

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Insecure Louis, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Rimming, Smut, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-16 00:03:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1324216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m… I think I’m ready for you,” he breathes out shyly, never breaking eye contact. </p><p>“Are you sure?” Harry asks tentatively. “You don’t… I don’t want you to feel you have to after my stupid monologue in there.”</p><p>Louis shakes his head. “No, no, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. But tonight… you’ve helped me realise so much. All our firsts together. I want that. Nobody else.”</p><p> </p><p>Or the one where Harry is so in love, Louis feels heavily inexperienced, Liam and Zayn are happy as larry and Niall is a social butterfly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take a sad song and make it better

**Author's Note:**

> This is a hugely self-indulgent piece of fluff because I couldn't get the idea of a cute insecure little Louis out of my mind.
> 
> Title from Hey Jude by The Beatles.
> 
> I do not own One Direction. If I did, Zayn would be shagging me, not Liam.

Louis reckons it took him approximately four seconds to fall in love with Harry Styles.

He remembers the moment vividly: he’s standing at the front of a lecture theatre waiting to host the introduction talk for the next university students who were interested in joining Manchester University’s LGBT. Louis’ Vice-President but Nick, the actual president was off, probably fucking somebody or something.

His breath hitches loudly as the boy walked him, all unruly curls and long legs and tattooed arms and Louis feels his jaw drop. He’s then grateful that he was stood next to his best friend and not Nick because Zayn promptly pushes it closed again and hisses a “stop gawping, dickhead.”

Louis waits for the last few stragglers to sit themselves down and then he clears his throat loudly, hoping it doesn’t sound as nervous as he feels. “Hello everyone! I’m sure you all know what you’re here for so I won’t start by chatting your ear off about why we’re so important. I will however introduce myself and these lovely ladies to you. My name is Louis Tomlinson, third year and I’m Vice-President. These two gents here are Zayn Malik and Niall Horan, both the social secretaries. There are other members of the Exec but they’ve all promptly fucked off. The President’s name is Nick but he appears to be currently MIA.”

“Means he’s having a shag!” Niall calls out playfully. A few people laugh and Louis slaps Niall on the chest.

“First rule of LGBT, ignore Niall. Second rule of LGBT, enjoy yourselves! Uni is a time for fun and to meet new people and this society offers you a safe place to do that. We have meetings once a week and usually about three socials a term, where we head to Canal Street. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s an excellent night out in Manchester’s gay district and a lot of fun.” He looks around and Curly Hair catches his eye and grins, which causes him to falter a bit but he grins back as he says the rest of his spiel.

“I suppose all that’s left for me to really say is welcome to Manchester! I don’t see the point of standing around lecturing you because that’s not my job. Introduce yourself to people who look friendly, come for a chat with us if you want and enjoy your year!”

There’s a smattering of applause and Niall and Zayn bow dramatically, which brings more laughs. Louis rolls his eyes as Zayn slings one arm around his shoulders but then he whispers gleefully “Fit Curls was staring at you the whole time, you know.”

Louis chokes on air. Although Zayn and Niall tell him otherwise on a regular basis, he’s convinced he’s pretty much unattractive and nobody wants to shag him for a reason, so the idea that someone as fit as Fit Curls staring at him is pretty much ludicrous as far as he’s concerned, hell he’s not used to the idea of anybody staring at him to be honest.

“Only because I was talking, you asshole. Don’t say these things!” he snaps, harsher than intended. He hates that he lets himself get so defensive over these things but he can’t help it – he’s in his third year of university, VP of LGBT and he’s still a virgin, for fuck’s sake.

But then Fit Curls is galloping down the stairs of the lecture theatre towards the front with another boy in tow; tall and muscly yet with an adorable cute face and Louis’ heart momentarily stops because he’s holding out his hand and introducing himself and Louis’ brain cannot catch up with the current situation.

“I’m Harry,” the boy drawls in a slow, crisp voice and Louis’ legs feel like jelly. “It’s great to meet you, Louis.”

Louis tries to grin but his insides hurt and he’s pretty sure he’s forgotten how to speak English. He shakes Harry’s hand back and Harry flashes him a million dollar smile and Louis is _fucked._

That was two months ago now. In those two months, Harry had asked Louis on a date, kissed him at the end of the night, bought him roses on the second date and changed his relationship status on Facebook after two weeks. 

Louis feels happy, genuinely happy, for the first time in a long time. Harry is his first real boyfriend and he’s so in love but he hasn’t said it yet because he’s scared it’s too soon and he’s scared about scaring away this beautiful perfect boy he’s ninety percent sure he doesn’t deserve.

It’s one night when they’re on a date, just to a local Italian restaurant, that Louis thinks he may have fucked it up. Harry hasn’t been fully with him all night; he always holds Louis’ hand on the table and he’s always the one to lead the conversation but tonight he’s being short with him and isn’t looking at him properly. Louis feels awkward and awful but he can’t think of what he’s done so he clears his throat.

“Haz, are you mad at me?” Harry looks up, shock and a little hurt shining through.

“No, Lou, no, I’m not mad at you,” he says softly but Louis can’t relax because he still looks upset.

“Then are you okay? You’re not your usual self tonight,” Louis says forlornly and Harry finally reaches out and laces their fingers together.

“I’m not mad at you, sweetheart. I’m just, well, I’ve just been thinking. And we’ve been together for two months now and it’s just…” he flushes. “We haven’t had sex yet and I was wondering why. Then I started to think maybe it was me, maybe you weren’t that attracted to me, like you’re just with me to humour a first year.”

Louis gasps. He’s pretty sure blind people would be attracted to Harry so now he feels like a proper prick. “Look, Harry…”

“I love you, Louis,” Harry blurts out then covers his face with his hands like he’s mortified. Louis’ eyes practically fall out of their sockets but he’s happy, so happy even though he’s embarrassed at being such a fucking _virgin_ that he can’t even bring himself to go further than kissing with the boy he loves.

He’s grinning from ear to ear but Harry still looks terrified and ashamed of his outburst. “I love you too, Harry,” he finally gets out. “I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you from the moment you walked into that lecture theatre.”

Harry’s face changes from distressed to confusion. Louis doesn’t want to have this conversation here so he signals the waitress over and asks for the bill.

“Harry,” he breathes, his hands tightening around Harry’s. “I do love you and I do want to have sex with you, so much. Can we just, like, not have this conversation here?”

The look of confusion deepens in Harry’s features but he nods, pulling his wallet out of his jacket pocket. Louis’ already one step ahead of him though, taking the bill from the waitress and slapping his card into her hands. Harry’s brows furrow but Louis’ already putting his jacket on so he has no choice but to do the same.

Once they leave the restaurant, Louis laces their fingers tightly together because he knows he just has to get Harry home and then he can understand. He’s nervous, like he’s never been before but he’s also on cloud nine because he _loves Harry and Harry loves him back._

Louis’ flat is only a short walk from the restaurant. Zayn will be at Harry’s flat with Liam (a recent development that both Harry and Louis are delighted with) and Niall will be out at the pub because it’s Friday night so the flat is empty when they get inside. Louis leads Harry straight to his bedroom and he sits nervously on the bed, crossing his legs. Harry follows his lead and sits opposite him, tangling their legs together.

“Harry, look…” Louis pauses and takes a deep breath, nerves shining through in his eyes. Harry leans forward and presses their lips together, chastely at first but gradually deepening it. Louis allows himself to get lost in the kiss but then Harry’s hand ghosts down from his cheek to his crotch and Louis squirms.

Harry breaks the kiss and hovers above Louis, eyes questioning and there’s hurt in them again. Louis looks up at his boyfriend and says “Harry, I’ve never had sex before.”

Harry’s jaw drops open. Louis doesn’t want to look in his eyes so he rolls over and tries to hide his face in the pillows.

“Lou, I…” he flounders and Louis tries to bury himself deeper into the pillows. Harry rolls off him and rests his head next to Louis’, his fingers running through Louis’ feathery fringe as he tries to look Louis in the eye. “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand, sorry, sorry, but how, Lou?”

“Never found anyone who wanted to have sex with me,” Louis mumbles, still not meeting Harry’s eyes. “’m not beautiful like Zayn or magnetic like Niall, ‘m just Louis so I’m always ignored when we’re in those situations.”

Harry stares at him for a long time before he kisses him deep. Louis doesn’t kiss back for a few moments but then Harry slips his tongue inside his mouth and he relents, letting Harry take control.

“You’re the most beautiful, magnetic person I know, Lou,” Harry says with such sincerity that Louis feels tears prick his eyes. “I don’t care if you’ve never had sex before either. It’ll just make our first time even more special.” Louis nods through his tears.

“I do love you, Harry and I want to do it. I just don’t know how to go about it.”

“I love you too, babe. I’ll make it easy for you and we don’t even have to have sex until you’re ready, just start small, you know?”

Louis nods and tilts his head for a kiss again, which Harry graciously provides. They kiss for a long time and Louis can feel himself becoming hard. This has happened before but they’ve never had a make-out session as heated as this before and they’ve only had a couple of sleepovers before, but Louis is eager to change this.

Harry suddenly shifts himself so he’s on top of Louis again and gently grinds their crotches together. Louis throws his head back, breaking the kiss and moans before blushing and slapping his hand over his mouth. Harry chuckles and attaches himself to Louis’ neck, biting and sucking gently. “Let me take care of you, baby.”

Louis nods, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as Harry kisses gently across his jaw and tugs at the hem of his polo shirt. Louis moves his hands and allows Harry to slip it across his head and toss it onto the floor before kissing down his torso and reaching the button of his jeans.

He undoes them slowly and Louis whimpers as Harry’s hot breath brushes over his clothed erection. He’s definitely closer to hard than he thought and Harry gently slides both his jeans and boxers down past his knees and eventually they hit the floor too. Harry moves back up Louis’ body and kisses him slow and deep before wrapping one of his giant hands around Louis’ length.

Louis groans and his back arches and Harry reconnects their lips. It takes Louis an embarrassingly short amount of time to be coming over Harry’s fist, panting heavily into his boyfriend’s mouth.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he mumbles, embarrassed again but Harry shakes his head and kisses the tip of his nose.

“Don’t be sorry for anything, babe. Was that okay?”

“I came all over your hand and you’re asking me if that was okay?” Louis breathes out incredulously. Harry laughs and pulls his own shirt over his head, wiping Louis’ cum off his hand with it. He lies down next to Louis and nuzzles his nose into his neck, Louis leaning into the touch instinctively.

They lie there for a while until Louis clears his throat roughly. “Um, Hazza?”

Harry makes a low sound of acknowledgement so Louis barrels on. “Want me, um, want me to do you?”

Harry opens his eyes. “You don’t have to, Lou. I said tonight was about me taking care of you, didn’t I?”

“I want to,” says Louis timidly, sitting up slightly. Harry nods and moves in to kiss Louis again. This time Louis climbs on top and kisses Harry deep, licking into his mouth and experimentally grinding down. Harry groans into the kiss and pulls Louis closer to steady himself.

Louis then sits himself up and moves his hand down to undo Harry’s trousers. Harry nods to reassure him and he tugs it down before pulling them along his mile-long legs and tossing them away. He then settles between Harry’s legs. Harry is hard in his boxers, has been since he stroked Louis and Louis feels as inexperienced as ever as he peels away the constraints and lets Harry’s member slap against his stomach with a meaty sound.

Louis wraps his small hand experimentally around it and tries to imitate what he usually does to himself, gathering the precum to lubricate his hand as much as possible and using his other hand to occasionally fondle Harry’s balls. Harry groans and covers both his eyes with his hands, fucking up into Louis’ fist.

Harry comes quickly, quicker than Louis expected. He’s panting heavily and he still hasn’t uncovered his face so after Louis’ wipes away his spunk he straddles Harry once more and gently pulls his hands away from his face.  
“Did I, I mean, was that okay?”

“Lou, that was perfect. Christ, you’re so perfect.” Louis flushes and buries his face into Harry’s neck, kissing him there lightly.

“’m not, Haz, I’m really not but thank you,” he mumbles. Harry winds his arms around Louis’ shoulders and holds him there, where they eventually fall asleep.

The next day, Louis wakes up boiling hot and freezing cold at the same time. He opens his eyes slowly and finds half of him is smushed into Harry’s side but they’re still lying naked on top of the covers. He also needs to pee quite desperately so he wriggles out of his boyfriend’s embrace and pads naked through his flat, assuming Niall is either still out or passed out and Zayn is probably still at Liam’s.

He pisses and cleans his teeth then heads straight back to his bedroom, where Harry has stirred and has slipped under the covers. He joins him and immediately locks their lips together. Harry seems surprised but he kisses back happily, pulling Louis close and slipping his tongue gently into his mouth.

Louis makes a pleased noise and pulls away, whispering a “hi” before nuzzling into Harry’s embrace. Harry grins into the top of Louis’ head and murmurs a sleepy “hello babe” back. 

Unfortunately they can’t lie in bed together forever and Louis eventually has to shoo Harry out so he can do some work. He can’t quite shift the smug grin off his face, not even when Niall comes in and proceeds to vomit all over the shower. Niall doesn’t notice his happy mood because he’s too busy but when Zayn returns mid-afternoon he slaps Louis on the back and beams, ignoring Louis’ blush.

“I’m so proud of you Lou! Now Never Have I Ever won’t be nearly as awkward for you!”

Louis glares and slaps Zayn’s hand away. “We didn’t have sex, you knob. Just, you know, he walked me through some things.”

Zayn flops himself onto Louis’ bed. “At least he was cool with it. I knew he would be; he’s a good guy for you.”

“Too good for me, you mean,” Louis says and Zayn snorts.

“Mate, the kid looks at you like the sun shines out your arse. Also he’s not too good for you, you fool. You suit each other and he’s what you need, Lou.”

And he was. Louis hated to admit that Zayn was right but Harry brought out a side in him he didn’t know he had. He made him feel confident in a new way, like he could talk to new people outside of the LGBT. He made him more determined in his work, like he was working to make himself and Harry proud. He made Louis feel loved, not that he hadn’t before – it’s just being away from home from his mum and sisters wasn’t easy and what with his mum just having had twins, it was easy for him to feel like he wasn’t as important anymore.

It took him a while but he decided he was finally ready to give himself to Harry fully on their last night together before they were off home for Christmas. Both Niall and Zayn promised to make themselves scarce and Louis booked them a table at the restaurant where they had their first date.

Harry turns up dressed in skinny jeans and a dark blazer and a stupid bandana sweeping his hair out of his face and Louis can see the swallows he has inked on his chest peeking out the top of his ridiculous t-shirt and he wonders what he did in his past life to deserve this beautiful boy standing in front of him. Especially as this beautiful boy is now pressing him against the doorframe and kissing him like he needs it to survive, _Jesus, he loves him so damn much._

“Hey Louis,” he whispers against his lips almost shyly and Louis grins and kisses him again, gently this time. Harry interlaces their fingers and they walk down the streets of Manchester tucked close together. Louis genuinely didn’t think he’d ever be able to walk next to someone like Harry; didn’t think someone like Harry would ever want to walk by his side and show him off like Harry does.

Their meal is lovely but Louis is nervous as hell, nibbling nervously on his pizza as Harry chats away about how much he’s looking forward to seeing his family over Christmas and how he can’t wait for Louis to meet them when he comes to stay with them for New Year.

Louis can’t fight back the grin that spreads over his entire face when Harry slides a small box wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper and a smaller envelope with Louis’ name written across it in Harry’s swirly handwriting across the table. Louis puts down his knife and fork and carefully rips open the envelope first, pulling out a photo of the pair of them with train tickets paper-clipped to the top.

“They’re for the week after New Year. I thought you and I would head to my dad’s bungalow for a weekend, just us two?” Harry says almost nervously.

“Harry!” Louis breathes out happily, taking his boyfriend’s hand from across the table and kissing his knuckles gently. “That sounds incredible, love, thank you so so much!”

Harry beams. “Open your present, babe. It’s sort of joint birthday and Christmas, hope you don’t mind.”

“You didn’t need to get me anything, Haz,” Louis says with a pout but he’s smiling as he tears off the paper. Inside is a small white box. Louis looks up at Harry with curious eyes before sliding it open to find a beautiful silver watch nestled on a bed of purple paper. He gasps and looks up at Harry with wide, tear-filled eyes.

“If you turn it over, it’s engraved,” whispers Harry, a blush creeping down his neck. Louis struggles with trying to get it out of the box he’s so overwhelmed but when he does he turns it over to find _To my L, to all our firsts together, I love you, H x_.

“Harry…” Louis gets out almost brokenly, tears now actually spilling down his cheeks. He wipes at them furiously as he fumbles to slide the box shut, ignoring Harry’s voice from the other side of the table. He can’t do this. He doesn’t deserve this; things like this _don’t_ happen to people like him.

He stands up and runs out the restaurant, not looking back at Harry and he knows he’s being a coward, _he knows_ but at the moment he doesn’t care, at that moment he’s too overwhelmed to do anything but run.

He finds himself back at his flat, because of course he does, where else is he going to go? He lets himself in and slides down the door, fisting at his hair and sobbing into his knees. He doesn’t know how long he stays there but suddenly the door is opening and it smacks him hard, causing him to yelp and fall forward.

Harry’s standing above him, the spare key in his hand and he’s looking down at him so dejectedly and with such sadness that Louis cries harder, shuffling towards the kitchen to try and get away from his boyfriend.

“Louis, please,” Harry cries out suddenly, dropping to the floor and trying to take Louis’ hand in his own. Louis pulls away jerkily and draws into himself as much as he can, trying to stifle his sobs.

“Louis!” shouts Harry and Louis chokes on a sob to look up at his frankly terrified looking boyfriend with wide eyes.

Harry shuffles next to him and pulls him into a tight hold and this time he doesn’t protest; he lets Harry manhandle him so his head is being cradled in Harry’s chest with Harry’s other long arm wrapped tightly across his back.

They must look a right sight lying sprawled across the kitchen floor but neither of them make the effort to move until the majority of Louis’ sobs die down and his heart has stopped racing. He eventually pulls away from Harry’s chest to look up at him, his face flushed with a combination of humiliation and the tears.

“If you want to leave now, I wouldn’t blame you,” he whispers and Harry’s mouth drops open.

“Lou, why are you pushing me away all of a sudden? I’m not sure how I can make it clearer that I want to be with you pretty goddamn permanently!” he says firmly, brushing the last of Louis’ tears away with his thumb.

Louis looks down at the floor. “You… I don’t deserve any of this. My own parents haven’t bought me a Christmas present in three years and then you come along and you’re so…” 

Harry smashes their lips together and Louis kisses back because he loves kissing Harry, always has and Harry’s clearly trying to tell him so much in the kiss that it makes Louis kind of want to cry again. 

They break away but Harry keeps Louis’ face pressed firmly but gently in between his hands, rubbing his thumb across his cheek.

“Louis, I love you so fucking much. As far as I’m concerned you deserve the sun and the moon.” Louis tries to shake his head from within Harry’s hands but Harry holds firm and kisses him again. “Why on earth would you ever think you wouldn’t?”

Tears threaten to fall from Louis’ eyes again. “Because nobody wants me, Harry! My parents forget I exist all the time; my dad fucked off when I was little because he didn’t want me and my mum’s got too many children from happy marriages to remember me! I have no friends from back home because I was always the weird gay drama kid! Niall and Zayn are my only constants but they’re always off with better people and I don’t want you to spend all this time and money on me to work out I’m not worth it!”

Harry knits his eyebrows together and shakes his own head. “Louis, how can you say any of that?! Niall and Zayn love you and I love you and I’m sure your mum and dad love you but they’re just busy with the babies, you know? And nothing you can say will make me think you’re a waste of time or money because I want you, only you, okay?”

“You’re at uni, Harry! You could be having so much fun and sex with people who aren’t little me so I don’t want you to feel compelled or like you owe me anything but you already do and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I’ve done this to you…”

“Why do you make it sound like that’s a bad thing?! I bought you the watch because I wanted to show you that you’re worth it and I’m in this for the long run!” He pulls it out his jacket pocket and pulls it out the box and turns it over.

“ _To all our firsts together._ Our first kiss, our first time whenever you’re ready, our first Christmas, our first weekend away, our first anniversary, our first child…” Louis gasps. “Look, Louis, I know it may sound stupid and naïve because I’m only nineteen but you’re who I want all those things with! Nobody else!”

Louis leans forward and kisses him because he doesn’t know what else to say. When they break the kiss, Louis is smiling at long last and Harry takes his small wrist gently and slips the watch on. Louis grins shyly down at it and Harry kisses him one more time before pulling them both to their feet.

Their mouths meet again, sliding together passionately and wetly as their tongues battle. Harry’s hands travel down Louis’ body until they meet his ass and he squeezes lightly, causing Louis to moan. The kiss stays filthy until Louis breaks it and looks into Harry’s eyes. 

“I’m… I think I’m ready for you,” he breathes out shyly, never breaking eye contact. 

“Are you sure?” Harry asks tentatively. “You don’t… I don’t want you to feel you have to after my stupid monologue in there.”

Louis shakes his head. “No, no, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. But tonight… you’ve helped me realise so much. All our firsts together. I want that. Nobody else.”

Harry grins and kisses him again before scooping him up in his arms. Louis squawks at first but Harry presses their lips together insistently and Louis eventually relents, wrapping his legs tightly around Harry’s waist and tightening his grip on Harry’s shoulders.

They eventually make it to the bedroom after Harry’s knocked into every piece of furniture available on the way there. He tosses Louis down on the bed and immediately crawls over him, kissing him long and hard as he tosses his own blazer onto the floor. Louis’ fingers move from Harry’s hair to undo the buttons on his shirt.

Harry gently pulls Louis into a sitting position and helps slide his shirt from his back. His hands then move to the buttons on Louis’ trousers, which he deftly undoes and then breaks the kiss in order to shuffle down Louis’ body, pulling his trousers down with him. Once Louis is naked, he pulls off his own t-shirt, jeans and socks before leaning over his boyfriend again, kissing every inch of exposed skin that he can reach. 

Louis moans as Harry’s mouth finds its way to his thighs and he kisses up the tanned skin until he reaches his perineum. Louis gasps and wriggles above him as his hot breath ghosts over his hole and Harry shuffles up quickly to grab a pillow, instructing Louis to lift his hips gently so he can slide the pillow underneath him. 

Louis obliges straight away and as soon as he’s settled Harry wastes no time in gently prodding his tongue into Louis’ virgin hole. He hears a groan from above him but Louis isn’t pushing him away so he takes this a sign to continue and prods deeper. Louis’ spasming above him but Harry gets a tight grip on both his thighs and starts messily rubbing his face in deeper, getting the whole area wet and trying to breach the tight muscle. 

Louis’ rocking back against his tongue and panting heavily. Harry’s jaw is beginning to ache so he places one last open-mouthed kiss over the hole before shuffling up Louis’ exhausted body and kissing him messily and greedily. Their erections knock together and Louis breaks the kiss as his head falls back in ecstasy.

“Lube, baby,” Harry wheezes, his voice deep and raw. Louis points over to the second drawer of his bedside table and Harry rolls off him to rummage in the drawer, pulling out a bottle of KY and an open box of condoms. Harry raises a playful eyebrow and Louis gives him a small grin and a brief mumble of “nicked them from Niall” which makes Harry chuckle and press another kiss into Louis’ lips.

Harry slicks up his fingers and kisses Louis’ rim again before circling it gently with his ring finger. He watches Louis try and clench around it before he presses in gently up to his first knuckle, taking it slowly until he’s a whole finger deep. He fucks it in and out gently until Louis gasps out that he wants another. He drizzles more lube over his middle finger and presses that in gently and slowly until he’s knuckle deep again.

Louis chokes out a sob and Harry kisses his knee reassuringly and murmurs “Do you want me to stop?” 

“No, please. S’just intense.”

Harry kisses him again and gently crooks his fingers until he finds Louis’ prostate and Louis gasps and fucks down. 

“Do that again. Please!” he chokes out and Harry smirks as he crooks his fingers again before slipping a third in and scissoring them carefully.

“Harry!” Louis whines suddenly. “Don’t… gonna come… please…”

Harry kisses his knee again and slides his fingers out, wiping them on the duvet. He quickly pulls a condom out the box and tears it open, sliding it on and lubing himself up and gently adding more to Louis’ hole before lining himself up with it.

“Love you,” comes Louis’ voice from under him and Harry grins before kissing his shoulder and pushing the tip in gently. Louis throws his head back and Harry stills, bringing his hand up to stroke Louis’ cheek reassuringly.

“Talk to me, darling,” Harry coos as he pushes in another inch and Louis groans. 

“It’s… it hurts more than your fingers, just need some time,” he mumbles and Harry nods and leans down to kiss him through the initial pain.

“I love you,” he slurs into Louis’ lips and Louis nods gently. Harry pushes in a bit further and Louis sobs loudly as he bottoms out and pauses, his hand coming up once again to wipe the tears spilling from Louis’ eyes.

“’m sorry!” weeps Louis. Harry shushes him and kisses both his cheeks before Louis nods and tells him to move.

Harry rocks in and out of the smaller boy again and again, his eyes never leaving Louis’ face as Louis pants and writhes and sobs and moans underneath him. His prick is standing beneath them looking red and angry so he reaches down but Louis whimpers and shakes his head.

“Wanna… come… just… from… you…” he pants out, tilting his head up for a kiss. Harry kisses him over and over until eventually Louis is moaning and spilling between them, his hole clenching tightly around Harry. Harry watches Louis’ eyelids flutter open and closed and his mouth drop open and the sight is enough to tip him over the edge, spilling deep into the condom and falling down gently on top of Louis.

Louis wraps his legs around Harry’s waist to keep them locked together and captures his lips, both boys smiling into the kiss happily.

“Thank you, Harry, thank you, thank you, thank you,” he says breathily over and over and Harry laughs and rests his head in the crook of Louis’ neck, his hand stroking slowly up Louis’ arm.

“My pleasure,” he mutters and Louis laughs. He eventually lets Harry pull out as it gets uncomfortable and Harry quickly pulls the condom off and throws it onto the floor after he’s tied it.

He pulls Louis into his arms properly and Louis rests his head on Harry’s chest as Harry cards his fingers through his sweaty fringe. They lie there in a comfortable silence until their heartbeats return to normal and then Harry gently pulls Louis so he’s properly on top of him.

“I love you so much, Louis. That was amazing and I’m so glad you trusted me enough to let me be the one you did that with.”

Louis leans down and rubs their noses together. “I love you too. So much.” He kisses him slowly and languidly. “I’m sorry I freaked out on you earlier. It’s just…” He pauses and looks at Harry nervously. “You’ve given me more today than anyone’s really ever given me. And I freaked out because I don’t deserve you…” Harry opens his mouth to argue but Louis places a gentle finger over it to stop him talking. “You’re too good for anyone, you know that.”

“Good thing I don’t want just anyone, isn’t it then?” Harry says cheekily, sticking his tongue out at Louis. Louis laughs and kisses him again, long and slow and full of love and emotion. He snuggles down into Harry’s chest and lies there with his eyes closed, all ready to sleep even though he’s not even sure what the time is when Harry goes “Lou?”

Louis opens one eye and mumbles out a “yeah?” into Harry’s chest.

“Spend Christmas with me?” Harry asks shyly. 

Louis props himself up to look at Harry confusedly. “Harry, I couldn’t…”

Harry flips them over so he’s on top on Louis again. “You could. You said yourself how you hate going home over the holidays so spend them with me. We’ll party it up on your birthday and my mum always cooks for an army on Christmas Day and you were spending New Year with me anyway…” He breaks off, his eyes pleading.

Louis closes his eyes and thinks. If he goes home he’ll spend the days in his room counting down the days until he can see Harry by watching a shit-tonne of Netflix. If he’s with Harry for the most important days of the year, he might enjoy them for once.

“Okay. If you’re sure.”

Harry dives down and kisses him again and again and Louis laughs into his mouth as his arms snake around his neck. 

“I’m so sure. I love you.”

“Love you too,” murmurs Louis and then Harry’s hand is around his dick again and he’s pretty much forgotten how to breathe.

*

That was four and a half years ago.

Louis looks in the mirror and he’s pretty sure he’s not actually changed at all physically but there are definitely other noticeable changes, like how he’s been smiling pretty permanently for the past six months after he got down on one knee and gave Harry a diamond. Like how now he walks with his head held high because he’s marrying the love of his life in approximately seven minutes and he doesn’t remember what it was like for his heart to not beat _HarryHarryHarry._

A hand on his shoulder breaks his trance and he sees a beaming Zayn in his reflection, his own engagement ring glinting proudly against his dark skin. Him and Liam are almost worse than Louis and Harry, both so in love that they’re practically joined at the hip, although not today as Liam’s with Harry and Niall and Zayn with Louis.

“Ready to go?” Zayn asks, his eyes glinting happily because of course he already knows the answer.

Louis sighs and turns around to hug his best friend. “Definitely.”

Zayn takes his hand loosely and pulls him towards the chapel entrance. Louis makes his way to the front to where Niall is standing ready as his best man, Zayn close behind. He takes a deep breath and Niall laughs and pulls him into a tight embrace. 

Louis hooks his chin over Niall’s shoulder and surveys the scene. He can see Harry’s mum and sister in the front row beaming over to him and while his own side has fewer people, he wouldn’t change it for the world. Niall’s own boyfriend Josh is sat on the front pew next to Lottie and his mother and step-dad, his sisters and brother in the row behind.

The lady officiating the service clears her throat behind him and Louis disentangles himself from Niall in order to nod and quickly dry his eyes. He quickly takes his place at the centre with Zayn and Niall to his left and then the wedding march starts up and he loses the ability to breathe. 

The back doors open and he turns around to see Harry, his Harry, his arm tucked around his father’s as he’s led down the aisle, Liam and two of his cousins trailing behind as groomsmen and flower girls.

When Harry reaches him his eyes are shining bright. He goes to stand in front of Louis but trips over his shoelace. Louis hears him quickly change the swearword he was going to say to “oops” and Louis laughs along with everyone else as he brings Harry’s hands into his own in an attempt to steady him.

“Hi,” he whispers tearfully and Harry grins back through his blush, bringing Louis’ knuckles to his mouth and pressing gentle kisses into each one.

Both boys manage to get to the reading of their vows without crying but after Harry reads his Louis is a mess. He shakily pulls his own out of his pocket and quickly wipes his eyes before he starts.

“I never in a million years thought I would end up here with you. I was so convinced all those years ago that you would get bored of me early on and ditch me. Looking back now I can’t believe I ever doubted you because you’ve spent so much of your life over the years showing me that I’m your number one. And you’ll always, _always_ be my number one everything. All our firsts together, you and me. My first kiss, my first love, my first anniversary, my first husband, the first thing I think about in the morning, the person I put first in everything and my first priority every single day. You’ve been my number one every day for the past five years and you’ll be my number one for the rest of my life. I love you so much, Harry Styles, and I’m so lucky that not only are you my number one…”  
He pauses to choke out a sob and Harry wipes away some of his falling tears with his thumb like he did that first time all those years ago.

“I know I’m your number one too. And that’s all I’ve ever needed.”

The rest of the ceremony passes in a blur of tears and love and emotion and as Niall hands Louis the ring to slip onto Harry’s ring finger and Louis sees the tiny _#1_ tattoo there that him and Harry got together last year and he knows that he has all he’s ever needed here because what he really needed was to be someone’s number one and now there’s nobody else’s he’d rather be.

It took him approximately four seconds to fall in love with Harry Styles but he’s going to love him for approximately infinity more.

**Author's Note:**

> I do apologise for this absolute tooth rotter. I promise you my other fics are much better, please check them out if you haven't already!
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> [tumblr tumblr tumblr](http://bigdaddypayne.tumblr.com)
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> oh, and i like comments and kudos a lot.
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